


We Are (15x02 Coda)

by wordstothewisereaders



Series: Destiel Works [22]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: 15x02, Angst, Coda, Fluff, M/M, spn spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-18
Updated: 2019-10-18
Packaged: 2020-12-22 21:50:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21083636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wordstothewisereaders/pseuds/wordstothewisereaders
Summary: We are. We are. We are.Dean can't get it out of his head, and he doesn't think he will anytime soon.





	We Are (15x02 Coda)

We are. 

He couldn't stop repeating it. 

We are. We are. We are. 

Over and over again, it haunted Dean like a nightmarish lullaby. It persisted in his head like a dying heartbeat. 

But he wouldn't let it be true. No matter how many times he repeated it, no matter how many times he replayed the moment, he wouldn't let it manifest into something he believed in. There wasn't anything to believe in anymore. Everything was a lie, a harsh truth that no one would allow themselves to come to recognize but him. 

Dean lost his faith as soon as Chuck trapped them in that graveyard. He stopped believing that he controlled his fate. He knew his fate. He was put on this Earth to die, over and over until he couldn't take stand it anymore. 

Sam and Cas wanted to fight it. They were so foolish as to think that they could get out of this. Dean wasn't so sure anymore. 

We are. 

Dean was driving himself insane. He had been shoving down his feelings for so many years, and he wasn't going to let two words destroy his meticulously constructed walls. It was just another day. Just another job. Just another apocalypse. 

Business as usual. 

*****

Dean was going through the motions. It was all that he knew how to do anymore. He ate when he thought that he was supposed to. He made plans with Sam and Cas on how to handle the town. He followed the hopeless demon inhabiting Jack's body in hopes of finding a solution to save the world. He did everything he could to keep Sam and Cas from worrying about him.

Tonight, Sam forced him to rest. He could take care of the restless townspeople holed up in the school. There was nothing left for Dean to do but catch up on sleep so that he could be rested enough to fight another day. 

Dean wasn't so sure. 

Sleep was a foreign concept for all of them at this point. 

But he still laid down on the couch in one of the administrative offices and closed his eyes. It was better than nothing. 

We are. 

He pushed back the thought. Cas was his best friend. And so what if he loved him? It's not like Chuck hadn't gone into his mind and fabricated that, too. 

He didn't know what angered him more: the fact that could have implanted his feelings are the fact that he developed them himself. 

He kept telling himself it didn't matter. It wasn't real. 

It hadn't been real when Cas pulled him out of hell and raised him from perdition. It wasn't real when Cas had risked his life for him. It wasn't real when he and Cas stole glances from across the room. It wasn't real when he slowly became attracted to the angel after so many painful years. 

A tear streaked down Dean's face as he thought all of this. He wiped it away hastily, sucking in a deep breath. He was only being made to feel like this. He didn't really love Cas. Chuck made him.

And so what if he did love Cas? The world was about to end anyways.

Another tear escaped, and another, and another. 

"Dean?"

He nearly jumped out of his skin. 

"Leave me alone, Cas." 

Dean ran a sleeved arm over his face and took another deep breath. 

"Dean, we need to talk about earlier."

"There's nothing to talk about. I believe what I said. I'm not budging, Cas. You want me to hear you out? I heard you out. Now leave me here to my prescheduled sleep in the prescheduled apocolypse." 

It pained Dean everytime he pushed Cas away. Deep down, he didn't want to, but he knew that it was the best idea. 

"Don't you know that I meant what I said to? We are real, Dean. We are. Whether you want to believe it or not, I do. Why are you so skeptical?"

Dean shot up, not bothering to hide the emotion in his voice. He guessed that was what he was meant to do. 

"Why am I so skeptical? Cas, there is nothing left to be but skeptical. Everything that I've ever had, that I've ever loved, is all a fabrication. You think I'm going to take that lightly? Chuck might has well have ripped my soul out of my chest. So don't ask me why I'm so skeptical, Cas, when you know damn well why."

"Do you really think that the family that you have is fabricated? Dean, so strong of a bond is not so easily made. Your family has died for you and grieved for you. Even Chuck can't create something as unique as that." 

Dean rolled his eyes and sat back down. He didn't feel like fighting, not about this. He was too committed to his convictions. He stretched out on the couch again and closed his eyes. Maybe Cas would get the message this time. Maybe the ache in his heart would finally cause it to shatter so that he didn't have to play these games anymore. 

"Why don't you believe me?" Cas asked, voice low and soft now. 

Dean sat straight up, body tense with emotion. He was done. Done with these games. Done with his feelings. Done with this stupid, crumbling world. 

"Because I love you." 

The world stopped. Cas became rigid, tense with shock and something else that Dean couldn't read. He didn't care. 

"Because I love you, and I have for eleven years. And now I know that it's not because of anything I felt. It's because our dumbass God decided that I was going to be his favorite pawn. That he was going to control my life to line up with his game. And since it didn't work, he decided to shatter it all. So excuse me if I'm a little pessimistic."

Tears rolled down his cheeks, his shoulders rising and falling in tune with his rapid breaths. 

There was no going back this time. He had thrown any chance of covering this up out the window. 

Cas stared at him, his eyes gleaming with rage. 

"How dare you?"

Dean collapsed back to his seat. This always happened. Always. 

He sent up a silent curse to Chuck for ruining him. For ruining every kind of love he had ever felt. His head fell into his hands. 

"How could you ever think that this isn't real?"

Cas' voice was shaking with anger. 

"What?" Dean asked in confusion. This wasn't what he was expecting. 

Cas crossed the room in a few great strides and forced Dean's hands away from his face, grabbing his chin upwards. 

Cas pressed his lips against Dean's swiftly, moving into the most passionate kiss Dean had ever felt. 

A mixture of grief and awe flooded over Dean. 

Cas pulled away after a moment, still grasping Dean's face. 

"I know how you're feeling, Dean. I know that you believe that we won't make it through this, but we will. Chuck may have made up the monsters and the hunts and the catastrophes from the years before, but no one can make this up. No one can make you feel the way that you do. And no one can fabricate this bond between us." 

"You're just saying that." Dean whispered. 

"I love you, Dean." Cas said back with more emotion than Dean had ever heard out of him. 

Cas started towards the door, to leave Dean to his own thoughts. 

"Please." Dean whispered. 

Cas stopped and turned. 

"Please don't leave me." 

Cas went to the couch and let Dean melt into him. 

Dean let himself believe it, if only for the night.

Because they loved each other after all the years. 

Because they were real.


End file.
